Helping a Depressed Soul


This will be one of those personal posts. So if you are only looking for KULT: Divinity Lost material you can skip it. But I just felt like writing some of these things down. Perhaps it can help someone or there are people out there that can relate.

I have been dealing with depression in periods throughout my life. Luckily I have had the support from caring people that have stood by me through thick and thin. But I also know that it can be very tough to support a person that are suffering from depression. So I have decided to write down the things that work for me. This might be completely different for another soul.

So, here is my list on how you support me when I am in one of my periods of depression.

Stay in Touch: I might seem uninterested in everything. I might be reluctant and feel that I don’t have the energy. I might not call you back, text you or anything like that. But if you want to help me. Stay in touch. Send me messages, ask me how things are, send stupid memes. Anything. Stop by my place and ask for a cup of coffee. This brings light to my day. I don’t feel forgotten. Which leads to:

Make me feel Appreciated: Okay, that sounds materialistic and selfish. But for me it works. See, when I am in my darkest states of mind I feel 100% worthless. My mind is my own enemy. It twists everything that I does to the worst possible outcome. There is nothing I can do that is right, there is nothing that I have done that are good enough. But to be forced to hear that you like me, that you enjoyed something I did. That really helps. When I feel appreciated I feel that I have a worth. When I feel all down in my darkest place and someone starts to play about an RPG we played and how fun it was, well I am filled with energy. Sure, I might still feel 99% worthless. But that 1% of feeling that I brought joy into another persons life it means so much!

Don’t Judge: I know it is frustrating. I understand it sucks when I am like that. But understand that Depression is a disease. It can take a long time for me. In fact it may take a very, very long time. But if you are starting to judge me, give subtle hints that “i have been depressed long enough” or that it is time to “get back on my feet”. That has the opposite reaction. you will just force deeper down. If it is that frustrating please, it is better if you stay away.

Don’t be Overly Optimistic: Listen, I really like it that you care. And that you talk to me and support me. But there are some things that just don’t work. One of them are being overly positive. You know, the kind of fake happiness you only see in commercials. Or those dreadful self help books that tells you to look for a silver lining in everything. Or motivational posters. I HATE motivational posters. First of all. Overly Optimistic people tend to treat the ones around them like children. Secondly, to me it just feels false.

Take Walks With Me: I like walks. Even if I don’t want to go for a walk I will probably like it when I am out walking with you.  Try to get me to take a walk with you. Lets go and get a cup of coffee. Just by being forced outside and into the world makes it feel better. It is good to move your body as well.

Ask Me To Do Something for You: I like to feel needed. And if you ask me to do something for you. Something that is not to demanding but something that I still am able to do. Do so. It can be read the suggestions for a role playing character, make a playlist, edit one of your photos, draw a map, explain something. I guess this ties into the “being appreciated” but I like to reward you for being my friend. And I want to make you happy.

These are just my own thoughts about this. For me.

But as a person suffering from depression it is really helpful knowing what helps and what doesn’t help. And that my close ones knows it as well.

2 thoughts on “Helping a Depressed Soul

  1. This is a very practical list of suggestions even looked over by many mental health professionals. The false positivity line strikes me as especially relevant. It’s easy to overlook these things in other people even when we experience these problems ourselves. It’s good to remind myself my troubled friend might not be upset at me in their absence but rather just unable to express themselves in the moment.

    Thank you for sharing this very personal and well thought series of suggestions.


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